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That was where I hit that big pot hole that caused my hood to pop up and blind me. I have always been real sorry for interrupting those nice folks supper that way. It wouldn’t be fair to be unfriendly at a dumb road because that wreck was partly my fault. But, it was also the fault of that hornet that flew in the window and made me scoot around like that. If that had not happened those nice folks would still have a front porch to sit on. I expect they still miss that old hound dog, too. But, I was able to replace most of the chickens. I never did find a mule theywoman Humble feel like fucking liked, horny older women in Jacksonville so I had to paint their barn instead. It looked real pretty. Now, about my age; I’ll answer this question the best way I know. It all depends on whose doing the telling. For years, Uncle Daddy tried to pass off Aunt Wendy as my mother but she didn’t want no part in that tale. Aunt Wendy said my real mother was some gypsy lady that came through these parts back in the ’ x s. I think Uncle Daddy had a thing for black haired women but would never admit to it. He always got a little flushed whenever she was mentioned. It seems that gypsy lady pretty well cleaned out Uncle Daddy’s old store. The only thing left on the shelf was a rusty rat trap and xxx jugs of Clorox. Uncle Daddy said she left the jugs because it wasn’t real bleach inside; it was his corn licker. Ain’t no woman going to drink that stuff because it grows hair on your chest. It also makes a good dog dip to keep down the fleas. But, it’s not for cats; it turns them into wild things that act real scary. They wait until you are asleep, then they unload on every stick of furniture you own. Whew, I still get nose bleeds from that! Aunt Wendy says the gypsy lady was caught and sent to the jail for more than a year. Maybe that’s when I was born. When I was older, I went down to the jailhouse before it burned down during the riot of ‘ x . There were lots of names carved on the wall and I was hoping her name was there. But, I didn’t see none that I didn’t recognize; mostly cousins on Uncle Daddy’s side of the family and my first-grade teacher who took a turn at bank robbing because it was more exciting than stinky and head lice. I remember when I was a tot I would get a birthday present every year, sometimes in the summer and sometimes in the winter. I was almost ten before I learned it was supposed to be the same time every year. I once looked through Uncle Daddy’s old bible to see what day they wrote down, but my name was scratched out so I couldn’t make out the date. Best I can figure I must be around x years. Me and my sister Petal come from good stock, we do. Our best years are still out there somewhere; I feel it in my bones. Grandma felt the same thing but that turned out to be arthritis. Well, I’ve got to leave work and get home to help my sister Petal finish nailing that new baby crib together. It’s looking real pretty. Don’t write me if you have something that causes itchy fits because I’m expecting to try out again for the church choir. I’ll do this as soon as I get my PhD in church singing from this x -week online university. It is in a place ed Nigeria. I’m not sure where that is, but it may be over by Johnson’s Creek someplace. I never realized it was so easy to become a doctor; you don’t even have to take tests. They said I sounded smart enough to get my diploma and my Sense of Rhythm certificate without any tests. They will be mailed just as soon as I make my last payment. My sister Petal is thinking about being a doctor too. That would make x doctors living in the trailer park not counting Mud Jackson who proudly claims xxx PhD’s. I mentioned to Dr. Leekman I was going to be a doctor real soon. He said to come in and have my head examined. NO THANKS! I don’t need any more medical facts from him! Doctor Lukey; that title sounds real good. Grandma would be so proud. I'm real excited waiting to hear from some lucky lady who knows a good thing when she sees it. Oh, and my sister Petal said to remember that some men need to be graded on the curve. Lukey single man in Cookstown
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